Many undergraduate and graduate students who are at higher risk of COVID-19 have concerns about their education during the ongoing global pandemic. The Health Advocacy Summit has launched a support network and compiled resources for students with disabilities, including chronic illness and rare diseases.
This Guide was created by The Health Advocacy Summit’s High-Risk Student Support Network. Please note that various colleges and universities may offer different accommodations, and it is best to check with your Disability Services office about which accommodations and resources your school offers.
For questions, comments, or to suggest/request any other resources, please contact Amy at amy@healthadvocacysummit.org.
Relationships and Dating
From when (and how much) to share about your disease or disability with your significant other to how casual dating fits into the chronic illness world, navigating the world of relationships can be a challenge. Nevertheless, always remember: we are human beings, and we deserve love and romance as much as anyone else!
Below are some resources shedding light on sex, relationships, love, and chronic illness/disability:
Spooning with Spoonies: With a podcast released every other Tuesday, Noa Porten from Spooning with Spoonies and her guests share about anything and everything about chronic illness and dating - from self love and casual dating to first date fashion and humor.
Check out the profiles of the guests that Noa has interviewed as well!
Disability After Dark: Shedding light on the lived experiences of disability, queerness, and sexuality, this podcast by Andrew Gurza explores intersectional topics relating to sex and disability.
Intimately: A company with a functional, fashionable, and adaptive lingerie line, Intimately recognizes the beauty in folks of all embodiments. Check out their online store and read their blog, featuring stories for and by women with disabilities.
Squirmy and Grubs: This YouTube channel features videos by Shane and Hannah, a recently-married couple who navigates their lives together with humor and grace. Shane has a muscular disease and uses a wheelchair, and while Hannah does not, they both share their perspectives and experiences
The Five Love Languages
The Five Love Languages are a way to express care not only to your loved ones (whether they are your roommates, friends, family, or significant other), but also to yourself!
The way you show love is often also the way you like to receive love. Different people have varying ways that they tend to show & receive love. Check in with yourself - are you being supported in the way that you need & deserve? How can you show yourself the same love and value that you show to others and to your work?
Below are the Five Love Languages as well as ways to practice showing both yourself and others love in these ways. Remember: no one size fits all! Take time to explore, identify, and communicate whichever way(s) work best for you.
Words of affirmation – Intentionally and meaningfully using spoken and written words to support, uplift, and empathize with yourself and/or your loved one
How to show yourself love in this way: positive self-talk; journaling; practicing daily affirmations; filling a jar with notes of things that you love about yourself
How to show others love in this way: checking in with someone via phone/text; sharing encouragement; verbalizing specific appreciation for something that you admire about the person
Quality time – Giving yourself/your loved one undivided attention and participating in something that brings you (both) joy.
How to show yourself love in this way: blocking out “you time” on your calendar to engage in something that you enjoy; engaging in daily mindfulness practices; treating yourself to a solo brunch/dinner date or takeout
How to show others love in this way: spending time together in a more personal, quiet setting; spending time “together but apart,” engaging in activities that you each enjoy separately, but in the same room; giving someone undivided attention when engaging in conversation (virtually or in person); playing a game or doing an activity that you both enjoy
Receiving Gifts - A gift is any tangible item that reminds you that someone is thinking of you --the gift doesn’t have to cost money, and doesn’t have to take a lot of time to create; it simply shows thoughtfulness and reminds someone (or yourself) that they are cared for and loved.
How to show yourself love in this way: treat yourself to a home-cooked meal, a new set of pens, or something that you love; invest in yourself and allow yourself to experience something that you’ve always wanted to - whether that’s taking a class or starting a new hobby
How to show others love in this way: making or sending someone their favorite food/snack; sending someone a card; mailing or gifting someone a trinket that reminds you of them
Acts of Service – Expressing love or care for someone (or yourself) by doing something for them that you know they would appreciate or helping them to accomplish a task
How to show yourself love in this way: scheduling regular physical and mental health check-ups, addressing any concerns as they arise; doing something to help “future you,” like ordering or picking up your medication in advance or sorting your laundry ahead of time; volunteering with an organization that aligns with your own passions/interests (this is an act of service to your love for that community as well!)
How to show others love in this way: taking the time to learn about someone’s disease or disability; planning something for you and your loved one(s); getting out of your comfort zone to do something that you know your loved one enjoys; practicing acts of random kindness
Physical touch – Showing someone that you love and appreciate them (or yourself!) through human contact, including * consensual * holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc.
How to show yourself love in this way: putting a hand over your heart and breathing deeply; stretching your body and muscles; creating a skincare routine that works for you; investing in a heating pad or weighted blanket
How to show others love in this way (note that during the COVID-19 pandemic, some of these activities should be modified or avoided, depending on who is within your “pandemic bubble,” for safety reasons): consensual hugs, massages, sitting side-by-side, holding hands
Think about which love language(s) most resonate with you, try out different ways of showing love to yourself and others, and finally, engage in open conversations with your loved ones about your respective love languages, so you can figure out how to best support each other!!